Forever Friend

Everyone I have ever known who has a sister told me all of the time, "You fight now, but when you're adults you'll be closer than ever." I never thought so and I would flippantly ask why. I got several replies to that from "The distance will bring you together" to "You'll be able to see all of the good things about your sister without having to live with all of the bad." Either way it boiled down to not living under the same roof for some unknown period of time.

I went to Chicago for a weekend in the sixth grade. That wasn't long enough. I went to Washington DC for a week in the eighth grade. That wasn't long enough either. I took a nine day excursion to Spain, which I thought would do the trick since I had an ocean separating us too. That kind of worked. I missed her, but I still didn't get what all of those people had told me. I put the idea of achieving a mutually voluntary friendship with my sister out of my mind for the next two years.

Today was an ordinary day. I got up, went to work, got off, took my sister to work, went home, did chores, picked my sister up from work, went home, had dinner, and my sister went out with friends. (Mind you, I will be nineteen next week and the sister in question, Mara, is sixteen.)

Today is not the first day I've complained that she's gone out several nights a week in the last month or so either. She asked why I care so much and my mom, jokingly, said, "Maybe she misses you." She didn't know that she wasn't so far off.
I'm preparing to go off to college and have all of these new adventures, but I haven't gone yet. I still live under the same roof as Mara, but I finally understand what all of those people had said over the years. My sister was my only playmate as a child. We would take over the entire house when Mom and Dad were at work and create whole towns out of the 7 or 8 rooms on the first floor. We would transform ourselves into businesswomen, lawyers, brides, police officers, doctors, housewives, high school students, and teachers. Together we never had to be afraid if someone was judging us for drinking hot chocolate out of Propel bottles or stuffing doll babies up our shirts. Mara would always have my back when I needed her and vice versa (although she usually ended up in the "protector" role). She never made fun of me because I loved homework back then and she let me read to her once because she knew how sad it made me when she could read on her own.

With my impending move and her being with friends all the time I have finally reached the point where, all irritations aside, I miss being my little sister's best friend and role model. I have discovered what those people meant when they said my sister and I would be closer than ever.
We aren't that close right now, but I can see the cross over on the horizon. I can't wait to have my playmate back. I know she won't judge me and she'll provide help when I ask for it. She will be my confidante and my protector. Instead of pretending to be police officers and lawyers, we'll actually be them. Replacing our hot chocolate-filled Propel bottles will be actual travelmugs of coffee or tea. Replacing conversations on which make believe game we should play will be conversations about which paths in our lives we should take. I'm excited for that relationship with my sister and I can see the flowers beginning to bloom.

If you have a sister, I stand by what those people all told me so long ago. "When you're adults, you'll be closer than ever." And when it comes to sisters distance definitely "makes the heart grow fonder."

Real Edumacation

Firstly, I am so sorry it's been awhile. The last couple months have been crazy and I was searching for a little inspiration of my own.

I graduated about a month ago. That was a very surreal experience for me. I've learned a lot in the last four years of high school, especially to prepare me for college. However, high school doesn't do much to prepare you for the "real world." In the last month I've learned an awful lot about that reality, so I thought I'd share my experiences.

First, when people tell you that money isn't everything...well...it may not be everything, but it sure is a lot of things. Especially when you have none. I always laughed when my mom warned me that I'd be a poor college student, but now I see the reality of it.

I'm paying for my own education, and even though I received my university's top scholarship (full tuition), it still leaves about ten thousand dollars a year for everything else. I'm hoping to be a Resident Assistant, which would help with about three fourths of that, but there are still ten thousand dollars to be paid off in my first year. That is a lot of dough, especially when I still need a car and all kinds of supplies for living on campus. Every dollar counts.

Second, no one wants to hire a college student. I got one job interview this summer and no call back after that. McDonalds didn't even call. So I had to buy a car with only my graduation funds, and not just a car, but plates, registration, the title transfer, and insurance too.

Third, buying a car is not fun, not exciting, and is probably one of the worst things to do ever. Not only did I have to seek out the very few cars in my price range, but I had to do it by going to every dealership within twenty miles and then some. A lot of dealerships didn't even have cars in my college budget range. Calling an ad from the paper resulted in nothing as it was already gone. And then...I found one. There was a car with a sign in it sitting in the library parking lot. It looked like a nice car and it had my one hopeful: air conditioning.

I called the number and scheduled a test drive. My dad and I took the car for a spin and he took a look under the hood. He poked around for a while and pointed a few things out to me. The car was sitting in my driveway and I had a great feeling about it....WHAP! There's the "no." There was an indication of a very serious problem with the engine that would be a pretty pricey fix.

However my dad is anything if not thorough, so he called the seller's husband and spoke to him about the car. Turns out the guy had already rebuilt the engine to prevent the engine problem. Mom came in and told me that I had a car. The next day I signed the title and took my car home. Within four days I had seen, test driven, bought, and registered my car. It was pretty wild.

I named my car Penny after it's color and swore to take immaculate care of it so it would last through college.

Life's lessons are pretty tough when you're learning them. They're definitely harder than high school. The rewards those lessons bring, though, are forever. The knowledge gained through these three problems will be used frequently (hopefully not too frequently) in the future. Stay positive and let life's lessons inspire.

High School Sweethearts

I'd like to start out by saying that I have not gone to any great lengths to hide my age. My readers have detected that I'm still in school, and that makes some of my ideas "radical." I'm eighteen. I understand that most people my age don't agree with me, but most people my age haven't had the experiences that I have - good and bad. This is one of those experiences.

In my post "Thanksgiving," I mentioned my boyfriend, Garrett. Mine and Garrett's story isn't the most normal one, but I know couples who have been dating even longer than Garrett and I have been. However, I can't speak for those couples and their relationships, only mine. And I'll tell you what, my relationship with Garrett is straight out of a storybook.

We "met" in September of 2011. I was a Junior and it was the day before Homecoming. I was excited because I had spent most of my summer with my date for the dance and I was waiting for him to turn sixteen so we could date for real. The first time I had contact with Garrett, really, was a stormy night at the end of May because my Homecoming date, Jarod, and I had decided to see a movie and Jarod asked if we could bring Garrett. Garrett sat next to me instead of Jarod and we laughed and made jokes through the entirety of the movie. I put Garrett out of my mind for the next three months until this day before Homecoming.

Our school facilitates a Powder Puff football game at our Friday afternoon Homecoming tailgate, and while I was WATCHING the game, I slipped in some wet grass and hit the back of my head on a friend's knee while she was jogging behind me. Well, I was right behind Garrett when I fell and he, hearing the racket, turned around and took care of me. He said I probably had a concussion and I should get it checked out.

Sure enough, I had a concussion and Jarod "broke up" with me the Wednesday after Homecoming. I didn't really care though. Garrett and I talked every day in Band while I was too incapacitated to march. We became really good friends and when my town's festival rolled around, Garrett and I became inseparable and we have been ever since.

It's been a year and a half since our first "date" and he is my best friend. And maybe is sounds hokey and stupid coming from an eighteen-year-old, but I know that Garrett is the one I am going to spend the rest of my life with. High school sweethearts get married a lot more often than people think. I know that it's going to take even more hard work to keep our relationship together while I'm in college and then when he goes to college. We pretty much have it worked out. The best piece of advice I can give is communicate. Garrett and I talk all of the time. We tell each other pretty much everything, even the hard stuff. We plan so that we always have something to look forward to.

It's really hard to fall in love in high school. People tease and adults say, "You're too young to know what love's about," but I think I know more than several people. I think it will be really special to have been together for almost our entire lives. It's really magical to fall in love with your best friend, and I'm really thankful that we found each other when we did. Even though it's harder to fall in love while you're trying to find yourself and under the boundaries of being dependent on your parents, it will always be more than worth it to have Garrett in my life.

I always wonder if high school sweethearts really make it, but I always think of my favorite English teacher and her husband. Even if the odds are against us, I truly believe that Garrett and I will make it.

A Day For Romance

Happy Valentine's Day, readers!

Since today is one of two days marked on the calendar specified for a little love, I thought I would share a little perspective about the sappy, chocolate-covered holiday.

First, I would like to note that I have a boyfriend of almost a year and a half, hence I am not one of those "I hate Valentine's Day because it was created by card and chocolate companies" cynics. I simply have a larger idea of romance.

Secondly, I would like to also provide a Shakespearean sonnet that goes with my theory on a broader scale. 

SONNET 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
   If this be error and upon me proved,
   I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

 

 
My ideas about Valentine's day aren't particularly customary, but I feel about like Shakespeare did about what true love is: "If this be error upon me proved/I never writ, nor no man ever loved." 

Why does there need to be a holiday to remind people to be romantic and remind loved one that they are loved? Why is romance determined by how much money we spend on diamonds, chocolate, and flowers? Why do we have to depend on card companies to say our sentimental words for us?

As a female, yes, I get jealous of the girl who gets flowers at school from her boyfriend, however I'm a little more sentimental than some flowers that will wilt in about twelve hours and chocolate that will be gone in an hour. Most days should be a little romantic. If you really love someone, you find ways to be affectionate on a regular basis. That is what romance is. The truth is that too many women have romantic ideas about romance. Romance is in the little things that remind a person that you love them: holding their hand, writing a note, a kiss on the forehead, telling her she's beautiful, telling him he's handsome, making dinner. 

If there has to be a day, why do we depend on commercial things to express our love for us? No one can express your love but you. Flowers mean more on a normal day than they do on Valentine's Day. Chocolate is the condolence for single girls who sit home and cry because, as Hunter Hayes sings, "everybody's got somebody but me." Why don't we hand-make cards with our own words and sentiments written inside instead of mass-produced lines in a Hallmark card? Why don't we bake or make dinner for our loved ones instead of buying them chocolates in a box or taking them out? At least then we can put a little love into the food. Why don't we give practical things that every time our other uses it, he or she will think of us? Make a video, drawing, painting, scrapbook, album, photo-frames or collage of pictures of you together. Don't just say you love them, show them or write it so they have it forever. 

Where is the romance in buying love? I'm not a cynic. I'm probably the biggest believer in love there is. Next Valentine's Day, I suggest something sentimental and a hand-written letter. Sentimental doesn't mean not bought. It just means not commercialized. Don't let Valentine's Day be about the card, chocolate and flower companies; let it be about the love.

Resolution

The first of the year has come and gone, but I'm still grasping for resolutions that refuse to come. On New Year's Eve, I made one resolution, and it was a co-resolution with my boyfriend to spend more time with his family this year.

It's quite difficult to make resolutions when you don't know where you're going to be eight months from now. I've been thinking about what kind of resolutions I could possibly make that would still apply to my life in college. On this note, I tend to make my resolutions at the beginning of the school year rather than the actual New Year, which, yes, does get confusing.

However, I did come up with a couple good resolutions for myself. I want to stick to my guns when it comes to school. I'm determined not to get Senioritis for the remainder of my senior year, and no matter how difficult college may seem, I'll be grateful for it all later (even if my degree takes about 11 years to complete). I'm confident in my decision to pursue psychology and intend to persevere even when the going gets rough.

My other resolution is to find ways to make it through college with my boyfriend. It's not going to be easy, but I believe with all of my heart that we truly love each other and somewhere in the cards we're meant to be together. My resolution is to not give up on us even if I haven't seen him in months. "Where there's a will there's a way" and I am determined to find that way.

So, no matter where your resolutions take you, I suggest that you make sure they're beneficial in some grand way. And stick to your guns! Accomplishing that resolution can not only be great for self-esteem, but they also can become habits. Resolutions that mean something to you will be easier to achieve than a resolution that doesn't really matter to you. Hopefully my resolutions will become reality. Good luck and Happy New Year!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

So, when I woke up this morning and realized it was really Christmas Eve, I felt confused. The time had sped by and suddenly it's the end of December. How on Earth that happened I don't know. I blinked and suddenly my final year of high school is half over. But the real thing that puzzled me was that it doesn't feel like Christmas. It feels like another day.

I've been playing the Michael Buble Christmas album over and over on my iTunes waiting for the magic to finally sink in. I made my boyfriend take me to see The Rise of The Guardians and I've watched Christmas flicks on Hallmark and ABC Family for weeks. So why doesn't it feel like Christmas?

I thought maybe it's because I'm Jewish and we celebrate Christmas because my dad's family is Catholic. Maybe I just stopped believing in Christmas magic. But I don't think that's true because when we left Rise of the Guardians, I felt like a little girl who remembered why she believed.

Maybe it's because we do Christmas all wrong. We open gifts on Christmas Eve and have a fancy meal on Christmas Day. But that's never stopped the magic before.

Well, what if I'm too old for Christmas? I struggled to argue with myself on this one because, as I've aged, I've begun to care less for the material things in life. But this question ultimately lead to the answer.

After pondering this question all morning, it just suddenly hit me that the message of giving has not been preached as thoroughly as in the past. I also haven't heard about the value of the immaterial either. Things with more meaning than just "What do you want?" My age does have something to do with it, I suppose, because I'm now old enough to hear the half-hearted "Merry Christmas" from the cashier at Wal-Mart. I'm old enough to see the greed in children's eyes even though they probably won't play with the toys they get beyond New Years. Christmas songs play on the radio at Thanksgiving already and lights go up at the same time. Christmas has lost much of it's value.

Hopefully, those who feel as I do, if there are such people, will find Christmas magic with their families instead of in their stockings. I'm planning on searching for Christmas magic withing my family, my boyfriend and his family, and God.

God Bless your families this holiday season.
Merry Christmas!
Please enjoy this video; it's very fun. If you like it, look up Straight No Chaser on YouTube. You won't be disappointed. (Check out the Twelve Days of Christmas)

Tragedy

First, I would like to extend my sincerest condolences to the families affected by this cold-blooded act. I would also like to express my own devastation at losing the lives of beautiful little children who had their entire lives to live and at losing the adults who had dreams, and families of their own. God bless those whom this tragedy has touched.

I know I haven't written in some time, and I had hoped to write on happier terms, but this issue needs to be addressed.

I heard about the shooting in my fourth period class from a fellow senior. I think everyone was too shocked to do anything but go back to their lives. We continued through the day praying. I'm sure our school, had the administration known, would have prayed as a group. After leaving school, I heard on the news that 26 people had been killed and 20 of them were small children.

I was disgusted to know that the perpetrator had shot himself. I have thought about pursuing Criminal Profiling and Psychology and with my general knowledge of psychology I am morbidly curious as to why. I don't know much about Adam Lanza, but it would take a truly psychotic person to murder children. This is not an excuse, but it is a reason to provide more mental heath avenues.

People will use this in political discussions about guns. This isn't about the guns. This is about getting help for people with mental disorders. This is about allowing profiling for suspicious people. This isn't about politics; it's about protecting American citizens. I don't want to discriminate any more than anyone else, but it's a little late to be profiling when people have already died. This was horrible, but it was also a cry for help.

President Obama gave a really beautiful speech yesterday: "The majority of those who died today were children — beautiful little kids between the ages of 5 and 10 years old. They had their entire lives ahead of them — birthdays, graduations, weddings, kids of their own." I was very moved by it. 

To the families of victims: I hope you find solace in knowing your loved ones are safe in Heaven with God. I hope you can find some shred of happiness and hope in the light of Christmas. May your neighbors, friends, and fellow countrymen be your rock and may God bless you all.

To everyone else: Please pray for these families. Remember them whilst you are having your Christmas dinners and waking up on Christmas morning. Send prayers to your Deity to ease the suffering that has settled over Newtown, Connecticut. 

May the Source of peace send peace to all who mourn and comfort to all who are bereaved. Amen